Tired of being seen as an AMATEUR alcoholic? Folks just aren’t impressed with you shot-gunning beers and puking on the pool table anymore? Step your game up and get the Six Pack Holster! Now everyone at your frat house will take one look at you and say, ”shit, I bet THAT’S the guy to score Rufies from!” The Six Pack Holster ain’t just for college kids who waste their trust funds on beer, weed and expensive lawyers to beat those pesky date-rape charges, though. Really, it’s for anyone and everyone who likes to drink AND wants to make sure everyone knows it! The Six Pack Holster—it’s the utility belt for the serious drunk. My plumber came over wearing one just last week. Sure, my toilet still doesn’t work, but—damn it—we had ourselves a TIME! The Six Pack Holster brings people together. So—whoever you are—pop that collar, bump that John Mayer and just tell her, “sorry, I’m allergic to latex.” It’s here—the incredible, edible Six Pack Holster. [Warning: Six Pack Holster is a choking hazard. Under no circumstances should you actually attempt to eat it] Finally, a belt you can wear that can hold your beer. Whenever I try and slip beers in my belt, they slip right down my panties and freeze my wiener. With the Six Pack Holster, I don’t have to worry about it. Oooh—did I just reveal that I wear women’s panties? How embarrassing… The Six Pack holster can accommodate waist sizes from 30-54 inches, so even if you’re fat or pregnant, you can still be the life of the party! Order right now. Ok fine—now. Alright, then how about NOW?!? Mmmmph. Stop reading this and ORDER! That’s better.
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